"it" just moved
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
