Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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