I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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