You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
