would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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