My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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