he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
