Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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