We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
