My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
