fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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