I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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