Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
