Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
