Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
