Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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