yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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