I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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