When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
