So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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