No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
