Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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