I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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