4 words: hood of his car
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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