bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
