Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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