We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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