hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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