i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
