theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
