I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
