and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
