How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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