i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
