literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Mom said you looked used
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
