Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
