youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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