I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
