"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
