I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
