I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
