this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
