Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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