and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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