Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
