he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
