I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
