It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
there is puke in my bra ... again
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
