he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
