apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
