He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
