I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
