dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
